Ha ha ha..this sucks (Publication writing draft)

(Forgive me if i screw this up or put this in the wrong thread...ive never used blogger before! >.<)

Right, here's my bits of writing for the publication project. i read through some of the 2008 prospectus for the GAD course and tried to interpret the inner meaning, as it were. I really dont know if this is any good or not, there's meant to be some element of humour and sarcasm in there somewhere...somewhere...

Prospectus: What it really means
“Recognising that once discrete disciplines with graphic arts and design have now converged, this course offers the opportunity to engage with a broad range of activities within a single integrated course.”
Translation
We know that you have no idea what you want to do in the future and was forever ‘umming’ and ‘arring’ about which degree course to take. “I like photography…er but I like printmaking as well...and illustration is pretty cool”
Yes, we cater to the wishy-washy individuals whose broad range of activities also extend beyond the first year of the degree to a pavement outside a nightclub…which seems to have gone weirdly blurry for some reason.

“It promotes the cohabitation of ideas and process, encourages a culture of creative independence and supports the emergence of personal graphic language, producing creative thinkers and problem solvers.”
Translation
We want students to be able to learn from the things that they learn from the course in order to benefit you, the creative individual, in the future. If someone is ever stuck on how to approach making a peg doll in the future, you can inform the relevant stages with ease.
And don’t stand there looking shifty awaiting the next orders. Don’t wait for someone to tell you what the next stage is, create the stage…and perform to your ability! (or just don’t give yourself a 6 week holiday).

The diverse range of practise and process you can engage with are:
Animation - don’t expect to see daylight too often
Broadcast Graphics - You get to play around with ‘After Effects’
Illustration - For those who can draw (or in the case of ‘naïve style’ you can’t but somehow you make money from it)
Design for Print - It’s all about process
Web Design - an opportunity to learn how to show off your work to the World Wide Web.
Photography - so you can discard the disposable camera and learn to do it properly
Art Direction - Because it’s fun to boss people around
Advertising - for your inner manipulative streak
Traditional Print - So you can say you don’t spend all your time in front of a pixelated screen. Digital Imaging and Editing - It sounds technical when you say it to your parents.
Typography - Actions may speak louder than words, but typography speaks louder than plain text
Letter press - It just looks fun
Bookwork - Let’s face it, to have your work in the form of a book to show off to people does seem pretty cool in the long run.

Entry Requirements
Tariffs yadda yadda unit awards blah blah…A few GCSEs because we won’t just let anybody on the course… you’re special, did you know that?
Proof that you have hobbies and things to do in your spare time, for if for some reason after the 3 years you are unable to get a job or having great difficulty in doing so…you can always front an Indie band.

Things that you will learn in this first year of the course:

1. How to work with other creative-minded people, get along with people and to share ideas
2. That you don’t actually like people. You hate people, you despise the thought of having to share the same air as them and the course has only confirmed your suspicions.
3. Different modules of different areas of art and design that you can experiment and try out.
4. That you may NEVER go near a particular area of art of design again after being mentally scarred from trying it. But that’s okay, it’s a wide range course, you can do other things!
5. How to approach an assignment with a creative response
6. How to tear an outline of an elephant from a piece of paper with your eyes closed…or how you can’t and it actually looks like the love child of a rat and an aardvark.
7. That being made to run from one end of the room to the other depending on preferences first thing in the morning will actually make sense later on.
8. How to use different software and equipment
9. How to sit through a seminar when you have a blank expression on your face when handed the signing in sheet.
10. How to make the most of all the course has to offer.
11. How to make sense of all the course has to offer
    All comments and opinions are greatly appreciated! ^_^b